On the rare occasions I am around other people I tend to overcompensate by talking too much or being too loud, then I feel like an idiot and don't go out for a while after that.
I have plenty of old friends that I am completely comfortable around, but none of them live near me. I have lived in Utah for a year and a half and I don't have a single friend to hang out with. How sad is that? Clearly, things need to change.
As terrifying as it is, I am forcing myself to socialize more. My first step is to attend a SNAP and Sewing Summit Creative Mixer. I cringed as a registered for this event, not because I didn't want to go, but because it was just so far out of my comfort zone. Jen from Tatertots and Jello
might even be there. She is seriously one of my bloggy idols! As scared as I am I have promised myself that I will talk to at least 2 other people there and get one email address or phone number. I can do this!
My husband just asked me why I am telling you all about this. I am telling you because I love my readers. Because you make me feel less alone, and because maybe sharing something so personal will make me a little more brave.
Thanks for "listening", and I'll report back on my progress soon.
Ditto, Macy! I'm EXACTLY the same way. I only wish there was a SNAP conference near me that I could force myself to go to. Way to go - I think you're going to have a great time, and it's going to be so much fun!
ReplyDeleteI wish I lived closer to you so that I could go with you and help make you feel more comfortable!!! Sometimes it helps when you know at least one person :)
ReplyDeleteSending you bloggy hugs and praying for continued courage to put yourself out there. I love the verse in Proverbs that says "A man with friends must show himself friendly." I tell my son all the time that in order for him to make friends he must be friendly and extend kindness and helping hands. You have ALWAYS been so kind on your blog and it is a joy to follow you. I know that you will make many friends once you step out and start opening up those doors. Blessings to you Macy!!
Janiene
It is so great that you are tackling your fears! if you keep challenging yourself, in a couple of months you will probably read this blog and not understand why you were ever scared of people.
ReplyDeletethe very very best of luck and a biiiiiig (non-threatening) cyber hug
xxx
Hi Macy,
ReplyDeleteI used to feel like that for a long time. I don' t remember exactly when that feeling went scared and overwhelmed feeling went away, but it did. I am in my 50's, and I think sometime in my late 20's I began to feel better in gathering with people that I did not know.
Sometimes, i can still feel that way. One suggestion is that when you find a few people that you feel comfortable with, ask them about themselves. Try to get to know them. Ask about kids (normally common ground), where they live, since you are newer to the area maybe ask about their favorite stores or places to take kids. Normally people will open up, and you don't have to put yourself too much on the line to start.
I love your blog, and you are such a great person, when people meet you they will respond to that if you allow them to.
I wanted to give you something that might help. Read Isiah 41:10. It says
Fear not, for I am with you;
Be not dismayed, I am your God.
I will strengthen you,
Yes I will help you,
I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.
Remember you are never alone. I am so happy that you wrote about this. I know you will meet new people, and make some friends. Just let them see what the rest of us see, the beautiful person who writes to us everyday.
Good luck and God bless you Macy.
Debi
Adorned From Above
Macy, I am exactly the same way. Meeting new people literally freaks me out. I have a panic attack and start looking like a deranged person searching for the nearest exit! I live in Utah too, maybe we should get over our mutual fear and meet each other!?! But this bloggy conference will be just the ticket for you. Making ourselves do something we're not 100% comfortable with usually ends up being jut the ticket.
ReplyDeletePrayers and bloggy hugs coming your way!
I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who feels this way! I'm not freaked out by people, but I have cataplexy and find it easier to stay home than risk having to explain it to everyone in the event of an attack. The worst thing is, the longer I stay at home and away from people, the less I want to be around other people. Good luck. :D
ReplyDeleteI will say this, sometimes I pray that since I know He is carrying me, that I feel His arms holding me. That one helps me a LOT. I am so thankful for our God who is always there!
Macy, I am glad you're planning on coming to our little mixer next week. I think that we'll have a smaller crowd (we're planning for around 25), so it will be the perfect size for meeting everyone!
ReplyDeleteI hope Jen is able to make it so that you can meet her, but truth be told? She is super, super shy :)
Looking forward to meeting you.
Tauni
I totally get that!!! We have lived in this area for over five years now and I am just getting to the point that I can say I have good friends... it takes a while!!! I hate that feeling when I get all nervous and am then too loud or say something stupid. I beat myself up for a while afterwards. Now my friends know that I "blurt" when I get nervous and they still love me anyway! Praying for confidence and motivation for you to get out there. You aren't alone!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm a complete introvert. I get very nervous around large groups of people, even when it's all people I know. It took me years to get comfortable around my fiances extended family (30+ people for Easter in a small house, eeeeeee!).
ReplyDeleteThe best thing I ever did was go to a bellydance convention in Atlanta (I live in NY) where I knew NO ONE. It was definitely a once in a life time thing but I'm so glad I did it. I flew from NY to Georgia, took a train (and ended up on 3 buses) and stayed in a hotel with people I met on the internet... It makes me shake just to think about it!
So my advice it to just go for it. Sometime the best thing to do is the thing you think you could never do!
I'm excited to meet you too! I'm really shy too - I like being behind the scenes & planning stuff that way :) Glad you're coming!
ReplyDeleteHaha, This sounds just like me! We moved to a new state last year, and I have met 1 new person. 1! I just always feel like people already have their established group of friends, and aren't interested in expanding. I use my daughter as an ice breaker at the library and playgrounds, but so far the easiest way to get people to talk to you is to tell them you're new to the area. Most of them will take pity on you at least ;) Good Luck!
ReplyDeleteYou can do it Mac! You started talking to me all those years ago, and look how that worked out. ;) Have some fun, and let the wonderful person you are out. You are smart, witty and lots of fun so you can do this! I am proud of you, I worry with you being so far and not having a lot of friends to turn to.
ReplyDelete